you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
