I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize