you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
This is classic penis vs brain.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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