Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
How drunk are you?
Completed.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
