took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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