He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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