oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
