You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
He passed out mid-signature
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize