His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
