his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
