I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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