chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
