if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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