you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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