Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
