thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
