We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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