I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
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