I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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