Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
