you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Blood and glitter go together right?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize
