no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I just sucked dick on a ferry
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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