I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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