we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
