He uses pillows to masturbate.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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