YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
