She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
