you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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