love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
