she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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