Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
