It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize