So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
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she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
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How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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