Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
try to milk me bitch
Randomize