dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
