I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize