he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
