Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
