i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize