I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
