you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
