Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize