He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
kristin has been a bad kristin
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
someone owes me an orgasm
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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