my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
