After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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