i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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