They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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