just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Drake has all the answers
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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