they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
