I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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