talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
