my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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