John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
