I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
