You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
