that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Randomize
