im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
