Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
