How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
