I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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