I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
