420 ftw
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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