I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My feet surprised me
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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