I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
